


Parking 101

by PilarRambles



Series: RWBY Seinfeld Shorts [1]
Category: RWBY, Seinfeld
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comedy, F/F, Inspired by a Seinfeld Episode, Yang is a little crazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 04:43:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19716448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PilarRambles/pseuds/PilarRambles
Summary: Weiss and Yang fight over a parking spot Seinfeld style.Or:"So where's Yang now?""Oh, she's out in front of the building. She's arguing with some chick about a parking space," Ruby shrugged."What are you talking about?""Look out the window, you'll see."Pyrrha opened the window overlooking the street and leaned out to look below. "Oh my God that’s Weiss."





	Parking 101

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Seinfeld episode with a RWBY twist.
> 
> Obviously Yang is George Costanza in this scenario. It just seemed fitting. I got major Costanza vibes from her in Season 6 Episode 1 when Yang is bickering with Maria. C'mon Yang, respect ur elders!

“Alright Sis, start looking for spaces,” Yang said as she turned the corner towards the street entrance to Pyrrha’s apartment building. They had been invited over to watch the finals of the Women’s World Cup as a group.

“Just go to the parking garage, you’ll never find a space on Pyrrha's block,” Ruby replied, looking out the passenger window.

"A garage? Hell no, Yang Xiao Long doesn’t pay for garage parking. I have a system, first I look for the primo spot right in front of the door, then I circle the block until one nearby frees up.”

“Oh, come on, Yang, you always do this. Please just put it in a garage. I don't want to spend an hour looking for a space,” Ruby whined.

“No way.”

“Why?”

“Rubes, I just can't. Nobody in our family pays for parking. It's just how we are. My mom never paid for parking; Uncle Qrow never pays for parking; Even Dad!” Yang waved her free hand around. “I won’t pay for parking. It should be free everywhere, if you ask me."

Ruby looked at her incredulously. “I’m sure your mom parks illegally more than half the time and all those outstanding parking tickets are part of the reason why she is on the run.”

“Probably,” Yang shrugged.

“I'll pay for it,” Ruby offered as they circled the block again.

“No, Ruby. You don't get it. It’s the principal of paying for a parking garage. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, I could get it for free?” She winked.

Ruby groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“There's a space right there!” Yang exclaimed triumphantly, pulling up to the side of the car in front of the open spot and putting her car in reverse. “Look at that, best spot! Right in front of Pyrrha's building. What did I tell you, Sis? My system _works_ ,” She bragged, getting into position to reverse the car into the free space. The sisters shared a laugh.

Yang took a moment to turn to her sister with an arrogant smirk. “Alright, Rubes, listen up for Parallel Parking 101! Class is in session! Big Sis is gonna show you how it’s done. It's all about the angles, and cutting the wheel just right—"

“Will you just park it already?!” Ruby interrupted.

“Alright, alright, I’m doing it,” She said continuing to slowly back into the space. As she is doing so, another car comes up from behind and starts pulling into the space front first. “HEY! Ruby! This guy is trying to steal my spot!” Yang stopped the car halfway into the spot to roll down her window with the manual crank.

“Back off asshole! This is my spot!” She yelled, leaning out the window. Ruby covered her face in embarrassment. “Ruby, uncover your face, this isn’t embarrassing—I’m in the right here,” Yang asserted.

The other car stayed put, obstructing Yang from pulling into the spot any further. “Yang, just please stay in the car—” Ruby started but Yang was unfastening her seatbelt and opening her door already. “Yang! Wait, you don't know who that guy is, he could be dangerous. This isn’t Patch, people in Vale kill each other over parking spaces,” she pleaded.

“Don’t worry, Ruby, I’m exactly the kind of person who people like _that_ should be afraid of,” Yang said rolling up her sleeves. “He’s not getting away with this. Probably thinks he’s entitled because he drives a fancy-schmancy white car…”

Yang boldly strode over to the sleek, pearlescent white luxury sedan to confront the other driver. The sedan’s driver-side window rolled down and Yang’s made eye contact with glaring icy blue eyes. “Hey! What do you think you are doing?” Yang confronted. The driver turned out to be a young woman around Yang’s age. Her pure white hair was pulled back into a long off-centered ponytail and a prominent scar bisected her left eye. She narrowed her eyebrows at Yang.

“I'm parking my car,” she said matter-of-factly. Her posture was erect and confident. She held their eye contact with challenge.

Yang straighten up a little more. “You can't do that; you can't just roll in from the back like that—its sneaky.”

“I'm not sneaky. You didn’t even look like you were parking, you were sitting there next to the other car.”

“I was positioning myself so I could show my little sister how to _properly_ parallel park,” Yang asserted emphatically.

“Well you took too long and I chose to park here.”

“Well I was here first, so you can get going now.”

“No, I’m already almost fully in the spot now. _You_ go find another spot.” The icy glare intensified.

Yang stood her ground with her arms crossed. “Backing in is the correct way to parallel park! You can't pull in head first!”

“I can if there is plenty of room!”

“MOVE YOUR CAR!” Yang raised her voice.

“No,” the driver said defiantly, this time with a lighter tone and a snide smirk. Yang could hear an audible giggle coming from farther in the vehicle and noticed another girl in the passenger seat with flowing black hair and a crooked smirk and amused eyes.

Yang eyes turned red and she roared in frustration. “Then I’ll move it for you!” she roared, moving to the front of the sedan to push it out of the spot herself.

“Don’t touch my car, you crazy person!”

“YANG!” Yang swiftly turned to face her sister, who had her arms crossed impatiently. “Can you just let it go for once?”

“Never!” Yang cried out.

“Well I’m going inside, I’m not missing any of the game for this,” Ruby threw her hands up in the air and headed towards the apartment entrance.

“It’s the principal, Ruby!” Yang yelled after her.

Ruby headed up the stairs. She could still hear cars honking out in the street. Pyrrha opened her door on the first knock. Her boyfriend, Jaune, stood behind her and waved.

“Ruby! You made it! Not many people have showed up yet so I was getting worried,” she greeted, waving Ruby into her apartment. “Jaune and I have set up all the snacks on the bar and coffee table.”

“Awesome! Thanks for having us over!”

“Of course! I also invited some friends from my political science class, they said they’d be here by now,” the redhead explained.

“The more the merrier!” Ruby said cheerfully. “I’m glad I’m first to the snacks!”

"Where's Yang?"

"Oh, she's out in front of the building. She's arguing with some chick about a parking space," Ruby shrugged and reached for a bowl of chips.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look out the window, you'll see."

Pyrrha opened the window overlooking the street and leaned out to look below. "Oh my God, that’s Weiss."

* * *

Pyrrha leaned out her 5th floor window to call out to her feuding friends on the street below. “Yang! Weiss! What are you doing?!” Weiss had gotten out of her car and was trying in vain to push Yang away from her car, however, Yang had several inches on her and held sturdy as she leaned her weight against Weiss’ car in an attempt to move it out of the space herself.

“Is that Pyrrha? Pyrrha?! She’s crazy! She trying to move my car from this spot!” Weiss called up to her.

Pyrrha?! You know this chick?!” Yang stopped her actions to project her voice over the road noise.

“ _You_ know Pyrrha?” Weiss scoffed incredulously at her.

“Yeah, I know Pyrrha, we’re supposed to be watching the big game together and you are holding me up!”

“No, _I’m_ here for that! Back off!” Weiss pushed on her again. “Hey, Pyrrha! You know your friend here's a real piece of work!

“Oh great, you were invited too?” Yang rolled her eyes.

Pyrrha called down to the two girls, “You guys are making a scene, can one of you just move so you can both come up? You’re holding up traffic.” She gestured to the slowdown of cars maneuvering around their half-parked cars. At this point, Jaune poked his head out the window to check out the drama.

“Hey Yang! Hi Weiss!” he waved at them innocently.

“Honey, please. Keep inside, you’ll fall out,” Pyrrha said, ushering him away from the window.

“Jaune! Tell this chick she needs to move! Jaune!” Yang yelled up to the empty window. She turned to Weiss and glared at her. “You’re not getting this spot, Snowflake.”

Weiss leaned in close to her face, “I'll sleep in my car if I have to,” she challenged.

“I'll **_die_** out here,” Yang growled back, leaning in further so that their foreheads were touching.

“Okay, that’s it,” a new voice came from the passenger seat of Weiss’ sedan as the door opened and the girl with midnight hair stepped out and smoothed out her outfit. “This has been amusing, but I’m not going to miss the game over a stupid parking feud. You two are too stubborn and need to just kiss and make up,” she said, striding past them. “Maybe _literally_ ,” she winked at the two, “she looks like she could be your type, Weiss.” And with that remark she disappeared into the building.

“As if!” Weiss exclaimed, exasperated and blushing. She took a large step back away from Yang. “You have some real problems.”

Yang also took a step back, “Me? You are trying to steal my parking space! Who does that?!”

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “For the last time, I’m not stealing your spot. Going in front first is a legitimate way to park.”

“Oh yeah? Let’s take a poll,” Yang said gesturing to a couple walking their way.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m dead serious,” Yang whispered maniacally before turning to the couple and waving them over. “Hi! Excuse me! We need a second opinion. You see, one of us was reversing into this spot to park—as is the proper form for parallel parking, as you know—and the other sneakily pulled into the spot at the same time. Now we are at odds because we are both half in the spot. Who is rightfully entitled to this spot?” Yang asked the bystanders. One was a strawberry blonde-haired girl in a pink skirt and her boyfriend was taller with long jet-black hair with a streak of hot pink pulled into a low ponytail.

The young couple looked quizzically at each other and grinned. She girl spoke first with a mischievous smirk tugging at her lips. “Well I for one appreciate proper parking form, but I do pull in head first from time-to-time,” she rambled.

“Nora…” her boyfriend, elbowed her gently. “Just tell them.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes. “Our car is parked right there in front of this space so one of you can have that spot when we leave,” she said, her turquoise eyes watching Yang and Weiss’ reactions.

Weiss facepalmed herself and muttered something and Yang’s face went blank as she slouched with into a dopey posture.

“Um, ok,” Yang said slowly, still in shock. The young couple got in their car and waved as they drove away. Yang shook herself out of her stupor and seized the opportunity to pull into their spot and Weiss followed suit by finally fully parking in the spot they had been fighting over for the last half hour. When they both stepped out of their cars, they stood facing each other on the sidewalk, both at a loss for what to say now.

The sound of Pyrrha slow clapping brought them out of their own little world. They looked up to see Ruby, Jaune, and Blake join the slow clap and soon a few more residents of the building joined in on the sarcastic applause from different floors and windows. Yang stole a glance at Weiss and saw the girl’s face turn a crimson red. With all the fiery drama over, Yang had to admit to herself that the parking she-devil was actually quite cute.

Finding her voice again, she approached the ivory-haired girl. “Should we go inside?” she asked bashfully.

The girl’s eyes flashed fire and ice at her for a moment, but then suddenly softened in what looked like a thoughtful appraisal of the question. Blue eyes did a slow once-over of the tall blonde in front of her and she sighed in concession. “Fine,” she conceded.

“Um, I’m Yang,” she offered as they made their way into the building.

“Yeah, I gathered,” Weiss rolled her eyes. “I’m Weiss.”

“It’s… nice to meet you?” she grimaced. It came off more like a question than the standard phrase. It was incredibly awkward to say, especially after the way they met.

“Is it?” Weiss looked at her doubtfully. The two held eye contact for a few silent seconds before bursting out in laughter together.

“Nah, you’re terrible!” Yang laughed.

“Right back at you,” Weiss said with a genuine smile.

“Would you want to hang out together sometime after this?” Yang ventured.

“Only if you let me pick you up,” she retorted.

“How about we take public transportation?” Yang countered.

“Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> I almost made this a Winter Schnee/Yang pairing but I felt like the scenario fit Weiss' sassy personality. I want to write an Elderburn fic soon though, just waiting for inspiration.
> 
> I like feedback :) Comments and constructive criticism on style, grammar, and formatting are very welcome :)


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